she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
