stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's never too late to be topless.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
