And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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