chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
