On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
His nipple licking is glorious
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