woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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