Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
