No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
