The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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