forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
