Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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