Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
