I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
