Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
