this beer tastes like vomit already
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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