dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
