i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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