Who did Billy Mays play for?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
