And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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