So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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