real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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