Midget sex pt 2 tonight
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
