You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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