There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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