i was born a porn star she said
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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