I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
