I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
it's great music for shaving your balls
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
