hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
