I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
