I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
