how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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