he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
