I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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