So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
