Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
