she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
