please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
