Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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