i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Randomize
