my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
