Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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