I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Randomize
