you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
