I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
