i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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