there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
