You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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