Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
