I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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