Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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