My hair reeks of homosexuality.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
